


Three wise monkeys

by triplezzz



Category: NINE PERCENT (Band), 乐华七子NEXT | NEX7, 偶像练习生 | Idol Producer (TV)
Genre: Crack, Episodic Chapters, I mean u need people to be dead to have some ghosts, M/M, dark comedy kinda?, ghost au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-19
Updated: 2018-08-19
Packaged: 2019-06-29 19:55:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15736299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/triplezzz/pseuds/triplezzz
Summary: Wenjun hears ghosts. Zhengting sees one ghost. Justin is Zhengting’s best friend, who also happens to be a ghost.Together, they make a ragtag team of Ghost Whisperers™





	Three wise monkeys

It started out like this:

 

A sickening thud, a pool of blood, and his best friend’s body lying contorted in the middle of it.

 

When he woke up gasping for air, the face that greeted him was the very same one burned into his vision just seconds ago. Only much less bloody.

 

He heaved a sigh of relief, making a move to grab his friend, but his hand passed through thin air. His stomach dropped.

 

“Zhengting. Can you do something for me?”

 

It might be out of fear, it might be out of grief – tears welled up as he listened to the voice. Hollow, airy and cold, so unlike what he was used to. Rubbing his eyes with trembling palms, he steeled himself and nodded. “Tell me. What is it?”

 

There was an air of finality when Justin sent him a grateful smile. It tore right through his heart.

 

“Please delete the entire search history in my laptop. And the bookmarks too. Don’t forget the hidden folders. Oh, and, there are some magazines, I mean, _education books_ , under my bed, when you burn incense for me can you perhaps toss them in too–”

 

For the first out of many, many times to come, Zhengting wished Justin would just rest in peace and stay dead.

 

 

Fast forward six years later and the wish is all but a pipe dream. The perpetual teenager is flipping through Zhengting’s comic book, lying on Zhengting’s bed, playing music from Zhengting’s phone while the man himself writes dents onto his papers, pencil tightly gripped and almost snapping in two when a boisterous laughter resounds through the room.

 

His smack lands right on top of the blanket, slightly dulled by the gust of wind flowing against it as Justin flies to the ceiling. When he snaps his head up, the brat is hanging upside down, tongue hanging out and face mocking.

 

If not for the timely, persistent knocking on the door, a fist-shaped crack might’ve been the newest decoration on his flimsy dorm wall. Zhengting throws one last scowl at Justin before schooling his features as best as he can, taking a deep calming breath when he opens the door.

 

In front of him stands a freshman whose wide-open eyes make him look like he’s perpetually picking a fight. A nice, friendly guy, in fact. Zhengting likes him a lot, but he’s kind of really bad at hiding things.

 

“Hi Zeren,” he smiles and shifts his eyes up, “and whoever it is you brought along.”

 

“Oh, hahah! You saw him.” Zeren whips his head back and forth, looking genuinely shocked at Zhengting’s acknowledgement. As if the guy lining up behind him wasn’t half a head taller. “This is. My friend. Yeah.”

 

Before Zhengting can reach out to introduce himself, Zeren flinches and holds up both of his hands.

 

“I’m sorry. I know I promised not to tell anyone but,” he squeezes Zhengting’s hand, giving him what was supposed to be pleading stare but looking more like a threat due to the intensity. “He needs your help.”

 

Zhengting cocks his eyebrows, mouth falling open. Zeren nods smilingly, somehow taking his silence as agreement. He releases his hold, turning around to pat the stranger’s arm, and proceeds to make a swift exit.

 

Leaving Zhengting face to face with a stranger. A very tall stranger. Something he didn’t realise until now maybe because the guy was standing next to Zeren and it’s not exactly a hard feat to appear so, but Zhengting has to actually look up to meet his eyes.

 

Justin whistles and puts his hand on Zhengting’s shoulder. “He’s handsome. Fits your type, doesn’t he?”

 

Years of practice have trained him to keep a poker face, but that doesn’t mean it quells the urge to superglue tape over Justin’s mouth. The stranger ducks his head and coughs, looking rather shy all of a sudden.

 

“Uh, thanks.”

 

“What?”

 

“For the compliment.” Tall Stranger clears his throat and tries to look at him. “I assume that was your… friend? Talking.”

 

He blinks. The stranger blinks. Justin blinks. A very audible gasp breaks the short-lived silence.

 

“Holy shit, you can see me!?”

 

“No I–”

 

“Zhengting, punch me,” Justin swivels to him, eyes manic. “I need to know if I’m dreaming or if this guy really just thanked me.”

 

He truly wishes he could take up on Justin’s offer. It’s amazing how the brat still manages to exasperate him even in unforeseen circumstances like this. “You don’t dream, idiot. You don’t even sleep.”

 

“That means he can see me!”

 

“I can’t, actually,” answers the stranger, quickly spitting out words in case he gets cuts off again. “I can hear what you’re saying, but I can’t see you.”

 

“…How does that even make sense?”

 

In what could be counted as an extremely rare occurrence, Zhengting finds himself agreeing with Justin.

 

“Well–”

 

“What colour is the underwear I’m wearing?”

 

“Justin what the hell.”

 

A baffled look paints over the stranger’s face. “I don’t know? I just said I couldn’t see you.”

 

The guy hasn’t once taken his eyes off of him and it makes Zhengting feel incriminated somehow, although he clearly isn’t the one spouting nonsense.

 

In the midst of their stare-off Justin floats a few feet above the floor, fumbles with his belt, and takes off his pants in one fell swoop.

 

Zhengting realises a second too late what he’s doing, and thus gets a faceful of neon green before he can cover his eyes. “Goddamnithuangminghao pull up your pants!” he shrieks, unaware of the grimace the stranger pulls in response.

 

“Hm. You’re used to seeing people strip down to their boxers, I see.”

 

A relieved breath tumbles out of the stranger at Justin’s accusation. “So you still have boxers on. I thought I just got flashed by a ghost.”

 

Peeking from between his fingers in case Justin still roams around without pants, Zhengting dares a glance at the man opposite him. He’s smiling, dimple showing, and for the second time today Zhengting might have to agree with Justin. Handsome indeed.

 

 

“Let me get this straight. You can hear ghosts, but you can’t see them.”

 

Wenjun nods, finally given a chance to introduce himself after Justin’s multiple failed attempts at getting him to react to visual stimuli. He’s sitting on a chair with back ramrod straight as if undergoing an interview, and in a way he is, despite his interviewer sitting cross-legged on the bed, arms folded around a puppy plush pillow.

 

“And that’s why you need my help to figure out what the ghost haunting your room wants, because they refused to talk?”

 

The furrow between Zhengting’s brows deepens as Wenjun nods again. He can feel a headache incoming.

 

“I hate to break it to you but, the only ghost I can see is Justin.”

 

Unexpectedly undeterred and immediately believing, Wenjun hums. “I had an inkling. That’s okay.”

 

Zhengting’s eyes flicker open before narrowing rapidly. Beside him, Justin stops trying to make faces. He’s never spoken to anyone about it. Even Zeren, who presumably told Wenjun about him, only assumes he has the ability to sense spiritual stuff.

 

Sensing the change in atmosphere, Wenjun goes on to explain, “I mean, if you can see all of them there’ll definitely be more than one following you around. They like being noticed.” At this he pauses, and then corrects himself. “Well, some of them do.”

 

A minute to let the information soak in, a minute for Wenjun to shift uneasily in his chair as two pairs of eyes scrutinise him.

 

“I still don’t get how I’m supposed to help you,” mutters Zhengting at last.

 

Wenjun visibly relaxes, unfolding his hands to put them on his thighs and leaning closer. “It’s simple. Justin, of course, can interact with them,” he gestures at the empty air, opposite of where Justin is actually sitting. The ghost snorts, but neither of them pays him any attention. “I can hear Justin. And you… basically live with Justin.”

 

They get into another stare-off, until Zhengting breaks it to send a warning glare when Justin’s antics become too much to ignore.

 

“You want me to be some kind of ghost interpreter.”

 

“Just this once. I usually do this alone, but clearly it won’t work this time.”

 

“Usually?” repeat both him and Justin at the same time.

 

“There’s a lot of wandering spirits out there,” shrugs Wenjun, like he didn’t just admit to absolving ghosts on a regular basis.

 

The excitement on Justin’s face is plain to see – it's not hard to figure what he’s thinking even without hearing a single word. Zhengting tears his eyes away and lets out a sigh as he looks back to Wenjun. “Just this once.”

 

“Right. Of course,” he beams, standing up to shake Zhengting’s hand. “Thank you so much.”

 

Darn it. Curse his weaknesses for dimples and tall guys.

 

Justin puts his translucent hand on top of their clasped ones, jabbering to no one in particular. “Oh my god. Are we the Ghostbusters? I can’t believe my childhood dream is _finally_ coming true.”

**Author's Note:**

> ...hello I'm back with another biting :') this is probably my most ooc fic written purely for fun and giggles hhhh I'm planning to make this an episodic series but as of now I only have this premise and no fixed plot yet, so do feel free to drop ideas/inputs for other characters you wanna see hehe (although they'll most probably be ghosts lmao) with that said, I hope this was enjoyable enough to bring out a smile or two, it's been a while since I tried writing crack I am: rusty (´•̥ ᴗ •̥`✿)


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